XC NPS Number 2 !

Well after much talk and  fist shaking and noses being out out of joint , NPS number 2 appeared !! The day dawned really nice and I hooked up with Team EPIC Alfie and Damo replacements ( Max and Smithers ) and off we went to Cork. On the road Smithers told me about his idea for some of our members who are not getting the results.
Here it is
http://www.lorryspotting.com/
Apparently people spot Eddie Stobart trucks as a hobby..so the next time any of you DNF in a race or whinge about your carbon bike getting dinged..this is what you could be doing instead !!
Arriving at our destination I was impressed by the size of the forest and the location..apart from my few comments to the lads that aren't The Nagles some sort of thing you get wrong with your man plumbing , I was actually looking forward to riding around. I always think there are hidden gems all over Ireland that people never get to see.
Bad juju number though when I got there..we were parked miles away from the rest of team EPIC and surrounded by MADsers..now the MADsers are nice people and all but when you have to look at the King of the leprechauns all day, it kind of becomes freaky.

It became apparent to me that something was awry when people were wandering around looking for duct tape and bits of foam. I thought there was some sort of insulation war going on between plumbers !
 In all my years as a MTB God I have never seen such disrespect shown to a track !!

Jesus the sport is being played out by people who in another reality would be golfers, or serious badminton jockeys or whatever they call it !
So off I went on a practice lap with Max and Skids and met all sorts of shapes and sizes coming back in blustering on about the Course. Too many pointy rocks..not enough roots !
Ah the course..what a pity.
The Cork kids gave us their interpretation of an XC course, which was retro. Up  fireroad and down a ferocious firebreak, across some heathery mountain singletrack and down another gnarly firebreak.
A lots been said about the course, but as most of us know a trail that is often fantastic to ride for fun never races well.
Take Kilruddery for instance or Lady Dixon..no way would you ride those places for fun, but racing on them, fantastic.
So everybody lined up for the start of the Senior 1/2/3 and ladies and off they went..I packed up my camera and raced after the senior 3s.
Got to the top of the climb and waited for the leaders..first up was Niall Afro Davis..grunting and puffing in his ridiculous Ballinastoe Weekend outfit ! Luckily for Niall hes fast enough to wear baggies !

 Alie followed not long after giving it socks and then the rest of the pack came in to view all redfaced and blinded by tears.

There were fierce battles all over the place with Senior 1 being a fierce combat for 2nd between Tomahawk ( XMTB), Luke Manning ( Not KTM)  and Dave O Neill( Team-Worc)
Oscar ( EPICmtb God) was running away with Senior 2 ahead of old Man Coyner in 2nd !

So after loads more huffing and puffing it was all over and the sun was shining and the sambos were out...
For some bizarre reason the Coffee man would only give me tea or Coffee with my free voucher..no Latte for Alfie or Cappucino for Smithers !!
But the old Byrne " you're having a laugh !!" Look put an end to that.
Post race is always a good time to see a few ugly moments in the mtb World ,bad hair, slobbery faces..blew eyed boys ( eyes blown apart with effort ) but nothing will ever prepare you for this

Them old KTM boys..whoevers idea it was to give them white gear was nuts..its funny though how it draws you in though !! Horrible fascination I think its called !!

XC NPS 2011

BOOOMM !! The XC NPS 2011 has begun..targets have been set, lines have been drawn around rivals, new bikes rolled out, old bikes polished. New riders appearing and has beens rebooted, lured back by plastic trophies and scalps and that final triumphant fist at the sky that only winning can spark.
Round 1 was in the fantastic arena of Bellurgan Park in Dundalk , Co Louth where Tony Kelly and his crew of Cuchulainn Clones have been busy  doozering away over the Winter shaping and planting hardcore.
Only an hour from Dublin and possibly the same from Belfast but as they still use miles , i've no idea !!
The Cooley Peninsula has always been a MTBers paradise , ok the Sheep conquered it before the mcCabes did, some people say they only took up MTBing so they could catch randy ewes when the mood was upon them but who cares they gave us a fantastic place to ride our tin donkeys !!
If you want to know more about Bellurgan Park then here you go..
So after some politicing and hair pulling and toys been thrown from the old Prams..The Offroad Commission gave its blessing to the new non age Category Categories.
Now they all work very well except when this lad turns up on his going to the shops bike and ruins it on all the young lads..

Still..the Sun came out and despite the online registration/payment fascism , the sign on was a bit all over the place but it didn't dampen peoples enthusiasm for the racing.
Loads of miscellaneous looking individuals lined up for the cat 4 race. The Cat 4 has replaced the Sports race but people are still racing for an hour sporting a Camelback and winter spins gear !! Holy Lucifer how some of them don't pass out from dehydration is beyond me !!
Look at what the senior 1s and 2s are wearing, learn from the experienced !! Its racing, not a picnic !
Look at this yoke..he thinks hes heading out to Ulan Bator in search of Genghis Khans tomb or something..if you look closely i'm sure he has a whip and a telescop tucked into his belt!

anyway..we all have to start somewhere , though your man above started many years ago as a lad, won a few races..swore to me he was going to be world Champ. Discovered Girls, Rock and Roll and Alchohol and away he went !!
Racing always brings out the best in Mountainbikers...some of the good ones are very humble down to Earth people , easy at giving advice to less experienced riders and always generous with tips .

Heres Niall Davis explaining to Aidan mcDonald his Golden Rule
" If you're not first..you're last !"
Aidan on the other hand is admiring Nialls fine head of hair and feeling just a little foolish in his really old Cuchulainn Jersey !
So its nearly time for the off, the gels have been swallowed and the little prerace rituals observed, the Portaloos have been destroyed and everybodys high as a kite with the jitters !!
Or at least thats how I always feel !!!

and off they went..

Now XC racing is not really fun but the buzz afterwards if you do well is unbelievable. Do badly and your ego feels lacerated bruised and kicked in the stones..but its only a bike race and theirs always the next one.
 I've a very scientific approach to racing and over the series I will be evaluating a few riders and using my wealth of knowledge and experience to help you understand what is really good about XC racing.
Ben Merchant of IMBRC and www.spoke.ie was apparently riding some fancy 29'er ( whatever that is ) and I hear its really great..

Bob Seymour, however made his feelings obvious to me when I told him somebody was using a 29'er in the race..
" Get away from me Byrner with your wild tales, them things are for postmen !!"

So 

so there you go,,in two weeks we'll have a look at Richie Closes new KTM , apparently and it could be just another rumour, it only has 2 chainrings on the front ..I'll believe that when I see it..
It was our girl Carolines very first race..and she won it very nicely indeed..I hear she has some lad as her personal Coach , well done Caroline..
" How far behind am i ? " she says to me and Shona yesterday !!

so there you are now..XC NPS 1 done and dusted, the gloves are on, the new bikes have been unveiled and the stats have begun..see you all at Fermoy in two weeks..

and heres what happens when somebody does something I don't like !! Its usually the press
/ papparrazzi that gets beaten up ..not this bastard !!